Do something for yourself

Lately all I've been doing is working and going to school. When I'm not at work or going to school, I'm studying. My free time has become no longer free. I feel like this machine that wakes up, goes to work, goes home, does homework, watches 1 episode of Gilmore Girls then goes to bed. Then i wake up and it begins again. I don't have "days off".  My"days off" are the days I am in school. I haven't had a "day off" in 2 weeks, and before that it was 4 weeks and so on. My next foreseeable "day off" is only going to happen because I requested off for a wedding. That day off isn't for another 3 weeks. Once again, I feel like a machine. I love sewing, drawing, shopping, photography, running, taking baths. These things make me happy. These allow me to be grounded and stable. I feel like Im running on a treadmill. These things that make me happy are also on that treadmill but they're attached to the floor. They are going in circles, constantly passing me, mocking me as they go by. Everything I'm doing is to get into nursing school. Accepting a manager position at my job. Working 5 days a week and going to class the other 2 days. All the hours spent studying and crying over my grades. All the stress and competition going into the nursing field. Its all to help others. I do everything for everyone else. Its in my nature. I love taking care of other people. I also have a really hard time saying no to people. I always want to help and be of service. I can't let people down. But by doing that I'm draining myself. At what point do you put your foot down and act selfish? Today I did that a little bit. Instead of studying before class I went and took photos for this little blog of mine. I know taking photos of myself seems vain and meaningless. I just found it to be healing in a way. To be outside for an hour. No one around me, complete silence. It was just a nice little break from all the chaos around me. Sometimes you just need a little bit of time to focus on yourself.  Whether its getting your nails done, going shopping, going to the salon or in my case taking blog photos. Its just nice to do something and feel better about yourself in the end.